I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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