It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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