She announced her abortion via fbk
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I would ride that face into the sunset
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
