Do you still have your period?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
