I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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