She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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