i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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