Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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