rhymes with "ouble enetration"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
