I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
