This is not my ceiling
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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