It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
