Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
