"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
