Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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