I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I think I just shit out all my problems.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
