Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
