absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
