Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
