Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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