Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
be right there i have to get my cape
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
