Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
