i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
