when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
