you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
