Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
