What a fucking waste of an outfit
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
