woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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