yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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