Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
