The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
