Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
