six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
