I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
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