Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
