I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
