Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
