i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
