I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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