It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
