I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
