I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
