ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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