mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
