She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
