There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
