I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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