just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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