It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
