what if every blade of grass was a penis?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
did i just pee glitter
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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